Memories

Writing has always been a cathartic process for me. In the past, whenever I was upset, pissed, or just generally listless, I'd sit down and pen a poem or two to reflect my thoughts and feelings. Then when I started blogging, it became an outlet for my frustrations as well. I'd write and write and at the end of it, whatever was bothering me may not have gone, but the black mood would (usually) lift.

Yet now, I'm in such a mood that simply writing would probably not reenergise me at all. But there are so many memories churning around in my mind, that I have to get them out and put them down somehow. Memories...

There are the good ones.

I remember the first time we kissed, in my darkened bedroom in Yishun.

I remember Hollow Man at Bugis Junction.

I remember the times we huddled under my quilt while listening to the sound of the rain beating against the window.

I remember you in your Tare-Panda singlet.

I remember the Bear-Bears and the Bao-Beis.

I remember the time we walked from your house to Serangoon in the middle of the night.

I remember the football matches.

I remember the instant mee, the instant pastas, the baked rice, the fried wontons.

I remember the feel of your arms around me as I woke up crying from nightmares.

I remember your xiang-xiang smell.

I remember boo-boo-ing each other.

I remember sitting at the koi pond at Suntec with you in the middle of the night during IMF.

I remember the Yishun midnight mee and duck rice.

I remember the Swarovski crystal necklace and the Mashimaro graduate bear.

I remember the laughter... the long walks hand-in-hand...

I remember how we put each other's fingers to each other's lips for little kisses.

I remember the kisses, the cuddles, the caresses.

I remember you telling my father in tears that you loved me.

I remember you telling my cousin that you would marry me.

I remember walking Sockie together as you told me about your day.

I remember the lazy days wrapped up in my quilt, cocooned in our own little world.

I remember trying on rings in Lee Hwa.

I remember my 21st birthday.

I remember the promises made.

I remember the 6th of September 2000.

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Then there are the bad memories.

But I will not remember those. You will.