On Antelopes and Sex
A few days ago, I came across an article online (which I can't find now, so no hyperlink), which describes how female antelopes force male antelopes to have sex during the mating season until males actually collapse from exhaustion.
Apparently, competition is so fierce among the females that a female antelope will charge a pair in the midst of romping (poor chaps), separate them, and then mate with the male herself. Males can be forced to mate up to 12 times a day, sometimes for 2 or 3 days nonstop.
This intense competition has nothing to do with the male-to-female ratio between antelopes; it is in fact quite balanced. The problem is a biological one.
Female antelopes go into heat only for one month each year, and during that one month, there is only one day in which they can get pregnant. Therefore once they go into heat, they need to mate unceasingly in order to optimise conditions for pregnancy.
I told Pumpkin Flower (Jessie) about this article and she was extremely amused. "Wow that's girl power for you!" she squealed with barely-concealed glee when I told her how, in the antelope world, males are forced to mate by aggressive females when it's practically the other way around for most other species on this planet.
As we can all tell, Jess has changed her views on love, relationships, and most importantly, sex, ever since entering into a relationship herself. Heh.
Nah I'm kidding about that. Some people will probably remain nuns all their lives - Jess is one of them. Unless, of course, she actually gets married. Which, as things go, will probably be about another... 3 years down the road? Heh heh.
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I have to say though, the course of true love never runs smooth.
And in most cases, problems are caused by outsiders rather than oneself. (Though if you have the misfortune to hook up with someone who's rotten to the core, I'd have to say the problem lies with yourselves - your other half for being rotten, and you yourself for being dumb.)
However, I'm certainly glad to see my Pumpkin Flower positively blooming (no pun intended) under the careful watering, pruning, and weeding of her Mr. J. I have to say, it helps immensely that Mr. J himself is slowly waking up to his senses and weeding out (what is with all my gardening references?) nasty, gossipy, outside influences that by themselves should be much too insignificant to affect my best pal's first relationship in any way but Mr. J was, for a short while, too confused by the many bees constantly buzzing in his ear.
So Jessie reverted to her "assertive bitch" mode and told him where to shove it. And I cornered him on the train when we were both going to Jess's church for her baptism last week and told him where to shove it as well (though in more polite terms than Jess did, I'm certain).
And it seems to be working, because Mr. J is steadily ignoring those outside influences and spending more time with Jess, even in the office. You ought to see the both of them walking off for lunch together with the occasional arm-pat or hand-on-back caress - sweetness to the core. I get diabetic just looking at them.
Anyway, I guess men are just that way - you need to tell them where to shove it (mostly up their arses), train them well (woof-woof) and generally tell them what to do or where to go before they ignite our fuses and cause an irreversible explosion of shit.
__________________________________________________
D and I are pretty much on and off.
Even I don't know what's going on anymore.
The only things I DO know is that:
1) my fuse is pretty close to igniting with regards to him and I'm afraid of what will happen and what I might blurt out if it does;
2) he's so stupid and dense I want to throttle him sometimes;
3) other times he either does or says something so utterly sweet, or simply sits there looking at me and looking so hot, I just want to fling my arms around him and kiss him;
4) he himself doesn't know what he wants; and
5) I do have some choices out there, so I don't need to be fixated on D, but I still am anyway.
Maybe I should have been born an antelope. At least that way, I could force... Never mind.
Apparently, competition is so fierce among the females that a female antelope will charge a pair in the midst of romping (poor chaps), separate them, and then mate with the male herself. Males can be forced to mate up to 12 times a day, sometimes for 2 or 3 days nonstop.
This intense competition has nothing to do with the male-to-female ratio between antelopes; it is in fact quite balanced. The problem is a biological one.
Female antelopes go into heat only for one month each year, and during that one month, there is only one day in which they can get pregnant. Therefore once they go into heat, they need to mate unceasingly in order to optimise conditions for pregnancy.
I told Pumpkin Flower (Jessie) about this article and she was extremely amused. "Wow that's girl power for you!" she squealed with barely-concealed glee when I told her how, in the antelope world, males are forced to mate by aggressive females when it's practically the other way around for most other species on this planet.
As we can all tell, Jess has changed her views on love, relationships, and most importantly, sex, ever since entering into a relationship herself. Heh.
Nah I'm kidding about that. Some people will probably remain nuns all their lives - Jess is one of them. Unless, of course, she actually gets married. Which, as things go, will probably be about another... 3 years down the road? Heh heh.
_____________________________________________________
I have to say though, the course of true love never runs smooth.
And in most cases, problems are caused by outsiders rather than oneself. (Though if you have the misfortune to hook up with someone who's rotten to the core, I'd have to say the problem lies with yourselves - your other half for being rotten, and you yourself for being dumb.)
However, I'm certainly glad to see my Pumpkin Flower positively blooming (no pun intended) under the careful watering, pruning, and weeding of her Mr. J. I have to say, it helps immensely that Mr. J himself is slowly waking up to his senses and weeding out (what is with all my gardening references?) nasty, gossipy, outside influences that by themselves should be much too insignificant to affect my best pal's first relationship in any way but Mr. J was, for a short while, too confused by the many bees constantly buzzing in his ear.
So Jessie reverted to her "assertive bitch" mode and told him where to shove it. And I cornered him on the train when we were both going to Jess's church for her baptism last week and told him where to shove it as well (though in more polite terms than Jess did, I'm certain).
And it seems to be working, because Mr. J is steadily ignoring those outside influences and spending more time with Jess, even in the office. You ought to see the both of them walking off for lunch together with the occasional arm-pat or hand-on-back caress - sweetness to the core. I get diabetic just looking at them.
Anyway, I guess men are just that way - you need to tell them where to shove it (mostly up their arses), train them well (woof-woof) and generally tell them what to do or where to go before they ignite our fuses and cause an irreversible explosion of shit.
__________________________________________________
D and I are pretty much on and off.
Even I don't know what's going on anymore.
The only things I DO know is that:
1) my fuse is pretty close to igniting with regards to him and I'm afraid of what will happen and what I might blurt out if it does;
2) he's so stupid and dense I want to throttle him sometimes;
3) other times he either does or says something so utterly sweet, or simply sits there looking at me and looking so hot, I just want to fling my arms around him and kiss him;
4) he himself doesn't know what he wants; and
5) I do have some choices out there, so I don't need to be fixated on D, but I still am anyway.
Maybe I should have been born an antelope. At least that way, I could force... Never mind.
posted by Sheena @ 9:09 PM
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